Upturn Learning

I sometimes feel we are all so caught up with ourselves and so self-centered, that we don’t have time for people around. Wait, let me rephrase…we don’t have time for the people who actually matter. All of us make time to have that midnight Whatsapp chat with a friend about an issue we are self-proclaimed experts in…(gee…I have had so many). I have been a parenting expert (yeah, right me!!! I have just one kid who is barely 7 and I know all about raising teens!!!). I have been a financial consultant (the worst one around, of course…I can only teach you how to spend)..I have been an expert on event management, on medical issues, on education)…ok so let me say this…I am not an expert! I prefer to know a little about everything and a lot about somethings…but I digress…(Ha! told you…we are all self-centered!!)

Okay, so why is it that we can spend hours talking to someone who is a friend or an acquaintance, giving them advice, supporting them, helping them through various important and many times, extremely unimportant issues? How come we grow an extra sensory organ when it comes to people who might matter to you but may not be your family. Rarely do we spend that much time with a sibling or a partner or a parent or child, discussing issues that might truly matter to them. Do we even know what’s on their minds? Do we really care or are we just going about life the way we prefer it to be?

I think there are few ways people respond –

1. They wait for the issue to explode…(sorry, no choice anymore.. gotta deal with the crap! Damn!!!l

2. They ignore it because they don’t want to or claim they don’t know how to deal with it. Eventually, the person who needs help probably gets it from that midnight Whatsapp chat with someone else. (Yep…sadly, a lot of extra marital nonsense begins here.)

3. Wait for the person who needs help to bring it up. I have heard some even say I can only help if I know what’s happening…(dude, that’s super selfish..but there are so many people like that)

4. They simple don’t even know notice an issue…but they are probably therapists in their social lives.

Are we scared of handling issues that may affect our relationships? Or are just lazy that it will cut into our Netflix time?
Yes, it is time consuming and it can drain your energy, it can even hurt…but doesn’t someone close to you deserve it more than a colleague or a beer buddy?

Everyone is talking about how their families are closer now because of the lockdown…seriously??? Okay, more activities as a family than before but are families really closer emotionally? Are we all just going through the motions without any real meaning?

So here is my request – don’t just make a zoom call with the entire khaandaan because it’s cool to do it…check in on someone who might actually need your help. Have a real chat with your husband or wife or child about how they are feeling…make time to sit with them, look at them and talk without staring at your idiotic phone (that’s respect!..and you will get it only if you show some)!

Have a nice day!